Santa Clause Panhandling
What would Santa's sign say. I know you all will come up with some great ideas. Remember to give me your name and or website address so I can link you if I use your suggestion, and everyone who makes a comment will recieve an autographed picture if they supply an address. The picture can be of me panhandling as a banana, or of my colon (photos taken durring my first colonoscopy), You're choice.
Of course printing and postage aint cheap. I have to buy the 19 year old at Kinkos a six pack in exchange for free printing. Can you help out with a little donation? God Bless.
Labels: christmas
posted by KLJ at 9:03 AM
19 Comments:
Will trade toys for food
I have 9 starving reindeer...
GOD BLESS!
9:27 AM
"Hey man, those damned presents don't pay for themselves! PAY UP!"
9:38 AM
Need money to pay off Rudolph's rehab bills in time for Christmas Eve. Please help. God Bless.
9:59 AM
Yay. Off to a great start. Of course nobody's given me an address to send autographed colon picks too. My colon is not as loved as I'd imagined?
10:19 AM
Need money for crack & two-bit whores. How else do you think my elves stay up all night making toys for your bratty kids?
Happy Hannukah & God bless.
10:25 AM
Need money for liposuction. Victim of too damn much cookies and milk. Thanks and God bless!
1:16 PM
2,200,000,000 kids to support. Anything helps. God Bless.
7:44 PM
Rendered obsolete by the internet. Anything helps. God Bless.
sir_cowman@yahoo.com
1:28 AM
These are from Robert Berry at RetroCrush.com. He's a bit slow and couldn't figure out how to leave these as comments but he e-mailed them to me. Because they're good I'll do the work for him and post them here.
Will HO! for food!
Will work elves for free
Why Lie? I Need Milk and Cookies!
Need Cash for Reindeer Food
Jews stole my money
Kwanzaa Sucks
Will Come Down Your Chimney for Food
Stocking Stuffed
Need Cash for more XBOX360s
Too Drunk To Fuck
Still Paying for Last Year's Christmas
Wal-Mart Put Me Out of Business
8:20 AM
Out of work because nobody believes in me any more. Please give. God bless!
Job stolen by greedy corporate Amerika! God bless!
If you had your ho's three at a time you'd need money too! God bless!
12:39 PM
...thinking about parents who have kids in their cars...
Share the love. Merry Christmas.
Hoping for a green Xmas. God Bless.
Milk and cookies? God bless.
And have candy canes for everyone who talks to you!
2:30 PM
"FUCK CHRISTMAS, I QUIT"
or Pg-13 "SCREW CHRISTMAS, I QUIT"
6:00 PM
"Need Hip Replacement. Gimme Money"
6:09 PM
I have a few:
-It's this or start shopping at Walmart
-Ms. Claus won't put out. Need hooker to get jolly
-Please give...I know where you live.
-HO, HO, HO - Now pay up!
-Need money for rehab for Rudolph
-I need an iPod.
-Please give, or it'll be socks again.
2:52 AM
I have a few:
-It's this or start shopping at Walmart
-Ms. Claus won't put out. Need hooker to get jolly
-Please give...I know where you live.
-HO, HO, HO - Now pay up!
-Need money for rehab for Rudolph
-I need an iPod.
-Please give, or it'll be socks again.
2:53 AM
HO...HO...Who am i kidding? can you spare some change?
8:31 PM
"I'm not the one who killed Jesus"
"I know when you are sleeping, and where you live"
"I've been giving you presents for years, the least you can do is spare a dollar"
"Yes, I'm the real santa and
no, you won't get any presents unless you tell mom and dad to pony up some change"
9:37 PM
Lots of great suggestions. I'll have to pick my favorites as I can't do 'em all.
Remember to send me your address if you want an autograph picture of the banana, or it you'd prefer I'll send you an autograph pic of my colon.
I've only gotten a few addresses so far.
9:24 AM
"Laid off from Macy's. Need Help"
"Milk and Cookies doesn't pay the rent"
"Are you Naughty or Nice?"
"Evicted from The North Pole"
"Support You Local Santa"
-jeffab@sbcglobal.net
3:58 PM
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