Acid
Pot was nothing like I could've imagined. I found I really enjoyed listening to music stoned, or riding my bike. I started reading everything I could find about pot, pro and con. Reefer madness became a favorite.
I came across a-lot of literature dealigng with other drugs as well and I discovered the drug subculture. So many writers, artists, musicians, filmmakers, comedians, all doing drugs and many of them not going crazy and killing themselves or becoming brain dead morons. It even seemed many of them were getting older and still using drugs. Oliver Stone, Hunter S. Thompson, Timothy Leary. I decided drugs were like driving or drinking or anything else. Some folks would over do it. Robbie was surely one of those who would over do it. I was confident in myself that I could use moderately and I decided I wanted to try everything.
I was questioning my Christian upbriniging, starting with Herman Hesse's Sidhartha. It was depressing to have the security blanket of religion taken from me. Life seemed meaningless. But I felt like I'd seen more of life by smoking pot, and some of these drugs I'd read about seemed to provide a view beyond this world. I wanted to know the secrets of the universe. Mostly I wanted to have every experience this life had to offer, since this life was, as far as I knew for sure, all I got.
So, I asked Robbie if he could get us some acid. Sure he could. My parents were to be gone most of the day. Robbie and I met under an old tree that grew by itself in one of the few empty fields left in our rapidly growing suburb. We dropped the acid, which came in the form of little paper tabs. Mine had an eye on it. Apparently we were dropping Black Eschers, featuring the M.C. Escher print of unravelling heads. The eye was rumored to be an extra strong dose. Robbie and I put the tabs on our tongue and sat beneath the tree waiting for it to hit. I rambled on about God and the meaning of life and Robbie nodded and waited to see what the hell I'd be like high.
The acid hit the belly first. My stomach hurt a bit and then began to tighten up. My throat and tongue felt it too. My extremeties started to get in on the act, feeling extra sensitive, slightly ticklish even. I opened and closed my jaw and it was tight but it felt great. I was touching my arms and my jaw and I felt alive and wonderful in my own skin. I forgot about god and fell in love with where I was at that moment. We found these amazing little wooden balls that the tree must have produced. I'd never seen such a thing though they were apparently laying on the ground around us all this time. I put one in my pocket so I could be sure it was amazing later when the drugs had worn off.
Robbie had arranged to be my co-pilot, something he'd assured me was very important when tripping for the first time. I didn't feel like being limited so I paid no attention to Robbie as I took of on my bike. I didn't intend to lose him, but I didn't intend not to. I rode my bike into an area where new homes were being built. Nobody was working so this neighborhood to be just sat there, weird and empty. It felt like a non-place. I rode my bike in circles enjoying the speed and trippin' on the strange surroundings. I looked at the sky and felt my size, how absolute tiny I was on such a big planet. A planet I'd seen so little of. Never mind an afterlife, I needed to get more out of this one. There was so much to see, and I'd missed so many cool things that were right here in front of me.
I headed out of the kuldesac I'd been doing circles in. There was Robbie. "Where were you dude?" he asked feeling a little put out.
I sped past him. I was the first timer here and I felt okay being a bit selfish. If I was ever with someone else durring their first trip I'd return the favor. I went back to the tree and Robbie joined me.
I had fallen in love with the world, with my body and now I fell in love with Robbie. I talked to him and I listened to him without being judgemental. I loved him for feeling and wanting and sharing, for being human. For once I didn't fixate on Robbie being a bit damaged and a bit simple. I instead appreciated Robbie's openness and his cheerful spirit. I was also well aware of the enigmatic abuse he had endured all his life. His father was insane and his mother was passive and a bit slow. Robbie and I talked for hours, trading our life stories and our wants for the future.
Now comes what I would determine in time was the bad part of every acid trip. The trip is done, I've learned all I have room for, I want to be done, but the trip just goes on. Eight hours or more, way too much for such intensity. And always there's the fear that you might just never come down. Robbie told me in advance of this phenomenon and that helped me dismiss or at least cope with the fears, but he also told me stories of people who indeed stayed "on" for the rest of their lives. I did my best to stay calm and ride it out, grinding my teeth, and being more aware of my sweat and spit and guts than at any other time in my life.
Finally the sun headed down and Robbie and I headed to our respective homes. My head and body were settling down. At it's peak the trip was very physical and my mind was reeling but things were never particularly visual. I didn't halucinate, but I did seem to see more vividl, catching something new in anything and everything I looked at. Colors were particluarly vivid. I always knew sunsets were pretty, but now I saw each and every detail, where colors bumped up against each other, made new colors, and how it changed right before your eyes, so subtle, but within minutes the entire images was changed, the sun moving faster and faster as it sped downward, to hide behind the horizon.
I got home late and went to my room, managing to avoid my parents. After putting the strange wooden ball that the tree had birthed on my night stand I closed my eyes and enjoyed a psychadelic show on the back of my eyelids. I saw wild echoing cartoon characters zooming about in space. I turned on the light and did some drawing trying to capture the pictures in my head. And then I went to bed.
That little wooden ball was still pretty amazing come morning. There were things right in front of me that I wasn't seeing. I would make an effort to open my eyes.
I came across a-lot of literature dealigng with other drugs as well and I discovered the drug subculture. So many writers, artists, musicians, filmmakers, comedians, all doing drugs and many of them not going crazy and killing themselves or becoming brain dead morons. It even seemed many of them were getting older and still using drugs. Oliver Stone, Hunter S. Thompson, Timothy Leary. I decided drugs were like driving or drinking or anything else. Some folks would over do it. Robbie was surely one of those who would over do it. I was confident in myself that I could use moderately and I decided I wanted to try everything.
I was questioning my Christian upbriniging, starting with Herman Hesse's Sidhartha. It was depressing to have the security blanket of religion taken from me. Life seemed meaningless. But I felt like I'd seen more of life by smoking pot, and some of these drugs I'd read about seemed to provide a view beyond this world. I wanted to know the secrets of the universe. Mostly I wanted to have every experience this life had to offer, since this life was, as far as I knew for sure, all I got.
So, I asked Robbie if he could get us some acid. Sure he could. My parents were to be gone most of the day. Robbie and I met under an old tree that grew by itself in one of the few empty fields left in our rapidly growing suburb. We dropped the acid, which came in the form of little paper tabs. Mine had an eye on it. Apparently we were dropping Black Eschers, featuring the M.C. Escher print of unravelling heads. The eye was rumored to be an extra strong dose. Robbie and I put the tabs on our tongue and sat beneath the tree waiting for it to hit. I rambled on about God and the meaning of life and Robbie nodded and waited to see what the hell I'd be like high.
The acid hit the belly first. My stomach hurt a bit and then began to tighten up. My throat and tongue felt it too. My extremeties started to get in on the act, feeling extra sensitive, slightly ticklish even. I opened and closed my jaw and it was tight but it felt great. I was touching my arms and my jaw and I felt alive and wonderful in my own skin. I forgot about god and fell in love with where I was at that moment. We found these amazing little wooden balls that the tree must have produced. I'd never seen such a thing though they were apparently laying on the ground around us all this time. I put one in my pocket so I could be sure it was amazing later when the drugs had worn off.
Robbie had arranged to be my co-pilot, something he'd assured me was very important when tripping for the first time. I didn't feel like being limited so I paid no attention to Robbie as I took of on my bike. I didn't intend to lose him, but I didn't intend not to. I rode my bike into an area where new homes were being built. Nobody was working so this neighborhood to be just sat there, weird and empty. It felt like a non-place. I rode my bike in circles enjoying the speed and trippin' on the strange surroundings. I looked at the sky and felt my size, how absolute tiny I was on such a big planet. A planet I'd seen so little of. Never mind an afterlife, I needed to get more out of this one. There was so much to see, and I'd missed so many cool things that were right here in front of me.
I headed out of the kuldesac I'd been doing circles in. There was Robbie. "Where were you dude?" he asked feeling a little put out.
I sped past him. I was the first timer here and I felt okay being a bit selfish. If I was ever with someone else durring their first trip I'd return the favor. I went back to the tree and Robbie joined me.
I had fallen in love with the world, with my body and now I fell in love with Robbie. I talked to him and I listened to him without being judgemental. I loved him for feeling and wanting and sharing, for being human. For once I didn't fixate on Robbie being a bit damaged and a bit simple. I instead appreciated Robbie's openness and his cheerful spirit. I was also well aware of the enigmatic abuse he had endured all his life. His father was insane and his mother was passive and a bit slow. Robbie and I talked for hours, trading our life stories and our wants for the future.
Now comes what I would determine in time was the bad part of every acid trip. The trip is done, I've learned all I have room for, I want to be done, but the trip just goes on. Eight hours or more, way too much for such intensity. And always there's the fear that you might just never come down. Robbie told me in advance of this phenomenon and that helped me dismiss or at least cope with the fears, but he also told me stories of people who indeed stayed "on" for the rest of their lives. I did my best to stay calm and ride it out, grinding my teeth, and being more aware of my sweat and spit and guts than at any other time in my life.
Finally the sun headed down and Robbie and I headed to our respective homes. My head and body were settling down. At it's peak the trip was very physical and my mind was reeling but things were never particularly visual. I didn't halucinate, but I did seem to see more vividl, catching something new in anything and everything I looked at. Colors were particluarly vivid. I always knew sunsets were pretty, but now I saw each and every detail, where colors bumped up against each other, made new colors, and how it changed right before your eyes, so subtle, but within minutes the entire images was changed, the sun moving faster and faster as it sped downward, to hide behind the horizon.
I got home late and went to my room, managing to avoid my parents. After putting the strange wooden ball that the tree had birthed on my night stand I closed my eyes and enjoyed a psychadelic show on the back of my eyelids. I saw wild echoing cartoon characters zooming about in space. I turned on the light and did some drawing trying to capture the pictures in my head. And then I went to bed.
That little wooden ball was still pretty amazing come morning. There were things right in front of me that I wasn't seeing. I would make an effort to open my eyes.
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