More Atheist Stand Up

So here's more from the same weekend of shows at The Geery. I was performing with Tapan Trivedi and Brent Weinbach.

Me doing Stand Up

You can tell I'm nervous here as I curse more than I should, a sure give away. I was nervous because I hadn't done stand up in a while having been distracted by performing sketch and I was getting my sea legs back. But it's still a good clip. Enjoy.

Inspired

Nothing like a bit of rejection to get my wheels turning. Since getting the rejection slip from the second agent to look at my book I've mailed out two copies of my self published book of short stories to potential reviewers, done a ton of work on my Atheist Survival guide and started collecting information on submitting some short stories to magazines. Being desperate for a few successes is a good thing for me motivation wise.

Ted Nugent (loincloth)

This website is a great one for showing God's love, I mean, it's right there in the name.
http://lovegodsway.org/GayBands

My favorites are Ted Nugent (loincloth)
and Elton John (very gay)

I'm not so upset that they listed Motorhead on their list as I am that they didn't put a parenthetical after. I mean c'mon man, it's Motorhead. Shouldn't that read Motorhead (bad ass Satan worshiping SOBs)?

Overall, they're really not helping their cause pointing out the fact that us secular types have all the good music. I'm pretty sure the site is a hoax. Little clues are Morrissey is labeled as (?questionable?) and George Michael is labeled as (Texan). Pretty funny stuff.

Thanks to The Hellouts for bringing this to my attention.

The Rejection Letter

"I read your piece with great interest. I admire your drive for success and ambition. The focus of your memoir is a good one, especially in a world where young people can expect to bounce from job to job. However, I was unable to sufficiently connect to the narrative voice, which is imperative for memoirs of this kind. For this reason I am sorry to say that I will not be able to offer representation."

SHIT

I finished that last post, went home to grab some lunch, and while I was there my rejection letter came in the mail. DAMN! I'm really upset, more than I should be. I try not to get overly invested but I can't help it, and now I'm really bummed. I feel exhausted and tired of... well, just tired. I work full time, and then I do plays, and comedy shows and writing and its just go, go, go. I almost enjoy being sick because it means being still for a bit, but by the second day I'm feeling restless and I'm back at my laptop and on the phone.
Damn.
Rejection letters suck.
I try to remember that every successful artist has a file of rejection letters. Unfortunately every unsuccessful artist I know does too. Damn.

The Waiting

Well, the agent who requested my manuscript back in December after liking my query letter has not yet given me the yay or the nay. Her office did send me some release forms and after having an attorney friend look at them I signed away and sent them back. The waiting makes me crazy, but my friend Ken, who referred me to this agent in the first place, says its a good thing, that she'd have let me know right away if it was a definite no. He feels like I must still be in the running. It would be really great to be represented by a good agent and to be able to give a bit more time to writing.

In the meanwhile, I continue to work on The Atheist Survival Guide, which I hope to have done by March. I'm also working on my next blog, Ritalin. I'm scanning old school photos and family portraits which will serve to illustrate my tales of public schooling gone awry. And my buddy Jason from Gas, Food, Theater will be helping me make some postcards to advertise the new blog when it launches. So, plenty to keep me busy. I was home sick for 2 and a half days, so what I should really be busy with is getting caught up at work, but where's the fun in that?

Best American Comics 2006

I wrote a review for the new News and Review

The Best American Comics 2006
Harvey Pekar (ed.), Anne Elizabeth Moore (series ed.)
Houghton Mifflin
Click here to buy it from Amazon

The Best American Series continues to expand, now taking on comics. And, as guest editor Harvey Pekar (American Splendor) explains in his introduction, what’s “best” continues to be subjective. A near-total exclusion of superhero comics--unless you count the charmingly reluctant crime-fighter/world-saver Onion Jack--undoubtedly will disappoint fans of that form. What this volume does offer is a vast selection of fantastic underground-comic-book craft, beautifully bound in a full-color hardcover with gold leafing. Maybe you’ll be discovering the wonderfully simple drawings of Joel Priddy for the first time, but contributions from the likes of comix superstar Robert Crumb and Love & Rockets’ Jaime Hernandez will fill the need for something familiar.

Click here to read this review at The News and Review's site.

www.NotComedy.com

I Can't Believe It's Not Comedy, my much loved comedy troupe just did a major website overhaul. Check it out at www.notcomedy.com, and while you're there note the upcoming show dates. We're just ridiculously excited about performing with The Cody Rivers Show, a fantastic duo from Washington.

Another Glowing Review

Sacrag.com likes my book.
Read their review by clicking here .

For more information including information on how to buy my book, click here.

More Bee Love

Thanks Bee for featuring me again in the Blog Watch section.
Go here and scroll down to see what I mean.
Or read the original post Here.

Colbert VS O'Reilly

I was pretty excited when I heard that Colbert would be on O'Reilly, and O'Reilly would in turn be appearing on Colbert's show. Click the link below, you can see both interviews. They're actually a bit dissappointing. O'Reilly makes a bigger fool of himself on his own show than he does on The Colbert Report where he actually keeps a fair sense of humor, but in the end O'Reilly is too cautious to fall into Colbert's trap and it wasn't the fireworks I'd hoped for. That said Colbert did get off a few good jabs.
Here's the link, enjoy.

Modest Mouse

http://myspace.com/modestmouse
Hit the link to listen to Modest Mouse's newest single from their forthcoming album, We Were Dead Before The Ship Even Sank which should hit the streets in the next couple of months.

The World That Cried Wolf

'Doomsday Clock' to move nearer midnight
RAPHAEL G. SATTER
Associated Press

LONDON - The world has nudged closer to a nuclear apocalypse and environmental disaster, a trans-Atlantic group of prominent scientists warned Wednesday, pushing the hand of its symbolic Doomsday Clock two minutes closer to midnight. (Article continued here.)

It's been said that an outside enemy, attackers from outer space for instance, would see humanity learning to get along right quick. Sad to see this not happening. We're fighting over whose god sent the aliens. Some of us are even rejoicing in the end of the world, heaven awaiting.
Or are we just denying the aliens altogether. Global warming scares us, but not enough to see us doing something drastic, like rationing our driving. Have too many apocalypse cults warned that "The end is near" for too long, leaving us all deaf to the dire warnings. Are we the world that cried wolf?

Click Click Click Click

How many times a day do I check my e-mail?
Eventually, I'll have that message in my in box.
The one that says, "Keith Lowell Jensen, quit your job. We see that you are truly too special for menial labor. Here's a million dollars. Go make the world a prettier place."
Actually, I've received that e-mail several times already.
Eventually it will be the real deal, and not Spam from the former Treasurer of some African Nation.
I think that is what scares me most about an after life.
I'll get up there, and the old dude with the white beard will say something like,
"Sorry you had it so rough kid. I kept sending you e-mails worth millions, but you always hit that Spam button. What the heck?"

A glowing Review

Vagina Monologues the Movie, a film that my comedy troupe, I Can't Believe It's Not Comedy did with Apprehensive Films, was included in the DVD release of The Undertaker and His Pals, a great comic-gore flick. The DVD was reviewed by B-Scared.com and we got raves.

"The Apprehensive Films release of The Undertaker and His Pals also includes a short film, The Vagina Monologues: The Movie! Yes, feminists everywhere will be offended and aghast at this film, in which we see the idea expand from script-pitch to movie (you won't believe the direction they take with this) to behind-the-scenes. It's a quick fix dose of humorous parody that features a vagina puppet! What more could you ask? And it's a great example of how an entertaining and professionally done short film can be accomplished with a couple of friends and next to no budget."

It's interesting that several people now have thought we were negative toward The Vagina Monologues or toward feminism. This couldn't be further from the truth. Amber is actually in a Sacramento run of the show and this is meant as an affection parody, a tribute even. Oh well, at least they're laughing, with, at, on, whatever.
Here's the film. You can see it without even buying the DVD.

Francois Fly in a dumpster

Li'l Mike put this up today. There are some real cheesy wipes and page peels and what not, but it's a fun bit of video of Francois Fly performing in a dumpster as part of the wild Popcorn Anti-Theater show in San Francisco.

Bad Cat Owners

I don't own a cat. So why am I at Safeway, after midnight, buying cat food, litter and a litter box? It's freezing out. Puddles are solid ice, and there's my neighbors cat, crying outside their door. I ring the doorbell, knock, nothing. So I grab the little beast, lock her in my bathroom and then, sniffling, sick, only up this late because I had a show, I have to go get her supplies.

Why do these people feel the need to own a cat? They've already had one cat just disappear on them. Cats are non-indigenous predators. They don't belong outside. And indoor cats are so cool. They have such amazing personalities. So, please, keep your damn cats inside. Sheesh.

Zombie Sea Monkeys

UPDATE: I decided I had enough to say about Sea Monkeys to give them a blog of their own. Please visit www.SeaMonkeyGeek.com.

Now this one would be fun to illustrate. Gotta get my scanner working.

I let my Sea Monkey tank dry out completely after the last of the little fellas bit the dust. Last week I refilled it with fresh water, stirred it up and voila, Sea Monkey Zombies. I prefer Zombies to Born-Again Sea Monkeys. I have about six of the little fellas that I can see, all wishing they could climb out and eat my brains no doubt.

My pink tank has been sitting out for twice as long and is yet to finish evaporating. It's a taller, narrower tank and the difference in surface area makes a big difference.

LABELS: I am putting labels on many of my posts now thanks to a cool blogger feature. Give it a try. Hit the Sea Monkeys label below and it will pull up all of my Sea Monkeys articles. Give me time to get all my old articles labeled. Woo hoot.

Two Seconds

Listening to Two Seconds' new album, Until We're Legal. Great stuff. Early B-52s meets White Stripes with a bit of Dirty era Sonic Youth. Check out their myspace page: http://www.myspace.com/twoseconds

Ritalin, sneak peek

Here's your sneak peek at Ritalin http:ritalindays.blogspot.com
Enjoy, and I'll try and wrap up my other projects and get back to it right quick.

Whats goin' on

So, I'm rehearsing for this play (see last post or got to www.GasFoodTheater.com) and trying to get my lines down. I promised to launch Ritalin, my new blog this month and I may still make that deadline, but I might push it off. I've already started writing it but I wanted to launch it with more hoopla, you know, postcards and what not. So, we'll see. I also want to find a three column layout that works in FireFox AND Explorer, which so far hasn't worked out. What's that? You'd like a sneak peak? Um, okay, I'll try to get something up tonight for you to peak at. Check back then.

A Bit Stressed

I've taken a small part in a play, Love and Math. I went to see this play a few years back in Auburn and loved it. In fact, I loved it so much that I became fast friends with Jason and Scott who wrote it and we began collaborating immediately. (They wrote The Vagina Dialogues wich my comedy troupe performed.)

I've been trying to get them to try the show in Sacramento so I'm glad that it's coming at last and honored to be a part of it, even if I was given mere hours to learn my lines. From here the show heads to LA. Maybe I'll be lucky enough to follow it down there too!

Love and Math opens at The Geery theater on January 12th and plays at 10PM every Friday and Saturday through February 3rd. Please come check it out.

You can get more information here: http://sacactors.com/LoveandMath.htm

PS: Yes, these guys do bare a striking resmblance to the Smooot brothers of Smooot Valley High, but if you look at their hair, I think you'll have to agree that these are not the droids you're looking for (nudge, wink).

What I'm Looking forward to in 2007

Grindhouse

YES! I am most excited about this one. Two flicks from two of my favorite directors presented as a double feature. As if that wasn't enough, the intermission, YEAH THERE'S EVEN AN INTERMISSION, will be filled with trailers for films that should exist but don't.

The Shins: Wincing The Night Away

I've been listening to this one non-stop. Buy it. Don't get it illegally on the internet like SOME PEOPLE, really buy it. And stop asking how I have it already, damn.

The Return of Futurama

It's such a crime that Futurama went off the air, while The Simpson continued it's downhill slide (don't get me wrong, The Simpsons still beats most of what's out there) and Family Guy got brought back. I hate Family Guy. Well, the universe is correcting itself at last. One more reason I've got to get cable.

with a certain anxiety, The Simpsons Movie

Please be good, please be good, please be good, please be good, please be good, please be good, please be good, please be good, please be good, please be good, please be good, please be good, please be good, please be good, please be good!

And The RockAss Show, which is gonna totally ROCK in fact it'll ROCK ASS. No, for real.
Watch for great guests like Smooot Valley High and my nephew who makes fart noises. Coming by February 2007 or sooner.

Best of 2006

Another year of me doing a terrible job of keeping up on pop culture. Hey, why don't you pay me to go to movies and listen to CDs? Then I might be better at it. In the meanwhile, I spend an awful lot of time catching up on the flicks and albums I missed from previous years. But alas, I did catch some good stuff this year and so without further doodoo I present...

KLJ's 2006 Highlights:

Best Albums
The Coup- Pick A Bigger Weapon

The Coup kill with their follow up to Party Music. They're not afraid of controversy and controversy is a hard thing to stir up these days. What's great about front man Boots O'Reily is that he never seems to be going out of his way to be shocking as he praises the folks who steal and resell from corporate retailers, or raps about Bush and Hussein taking care of one another's carnal debt, it just sound so natural flowing from this talented MC. Click here to buy it.

Belle and Sebastian- The Life Pursuit

Hands down the best B&E album and the best album of 2006 period. When you end a sentence by saying "period" do you have to put a period? Click here to buy The Life Pursuit

TV On The Radio
Return To Cookie Mountain

Wow. One of the most unique sounds going in pop music today, TV On The Radio knows no bounds, and I was pretty sure that there weren't enough good songs about werewolves.

Best Movie
Little Miss Sunshine

Okay, so it borrowed, heavily from the Chevy Chase classic Vacation. The list of great twists NOT borrowed from Vacation still makes this more original than any other flick out this year. Fantastic movie with great performances all around. Allen Arkin just keeps getting better as he gets older. If you don't know what I mean go grab a great flick of his from a few years ago called The Slums of Beverly Hills and then go back to the beginning and watch the amazing Catch 22. I love this guy. Buy the Little Miss Sunshine DVD here.

Best DVD
Saturday Night Live Season One

The best cast ever for Saturday Night Live was the first cast and we can finally enjoy them on DVD without having to piece together a bunch of "Best of" discs. It's all here, including the amazing musical guests and the rough start. It's fascinating watching the Not Ready for Prime Time Players get up to speed which doesn't happen until show three or four. Of course watching this great old footage makes it even harder to stomach the direction SNL has gone in the past decade. Yuck! Check out this amazing set for sale here.

Best New TV Show
Ugly Betty

I discovered this new take on the telanovela from Spanish TV a few days before New Year's Eve. It doesn't hurt that producer Selma Hayek (we're in love, she just doesn't know it yet) is featured on the show, but she takes a back seat to Betty who is one of the most engaging characters to grace the little tiny screen with terrible reception even after I stick a safety pin in the cable port and attach a hanger to it, in a long time (yeah, I got to get cable).

Talk Show
Okay, so I saw this new latenight show hosted by a geek and it's just called Talk Show with (insert geeks name). I loved it like I loved the first season of Conan O'Brian and now I can't find any information on it. HELP.

CHECK BACK LATER FOR MY MOST LOOKED FORWARD TO IN 2007 LIST.