Gretchen Part One

Cory was very tall and very thin, almost too tall, almost too thin. She had long, straight brown hair. I wanted her to be my girlfriend and Gretchen, her best friend was willing to assist me in wooing her. Gretchen gave me advice, reported Cory's schedule to me so that I could arrange to accidentaly run into her. Most of all Gretchen provided me with encouragement. It would seem that with her help I had sparked some interest and Cory was coming aroung. I decided to abandon the pursuit however when I realized how incredibly cute, sweet and delightfully intelligent my helper was.

"Gretchen, I appreciate all your help, but I don't think I'm really intersted in Cory any more." I told her durring our lunch break strategy meeting.

"What?! She's been talking about you, I totally think she likes you." Gretchen had so much energy for our little project, I was sure that she liked me.

"Look, Gretchen, I've been spending a-lot of time with you and I've really enjoyed it. I would rather go out with you. Would you be my girlfriend?"

Gretchen was caught completely off guard. She stared at me, eyes wide, smile even wider. She was bright and that she found me bright as well allowed me to be exceptionaly confident and relaxed with her. I leaned over and kissed her. One soft, sweet kiss.

At last, the perfect girlfriend, my first love. We hung out all the time. Our friend groups meshed together on trips to the thrift store, or gatherings to watch old movies. And of course we found plenty of time to be alone. Her mother would let us hang out in her room as long as we left the door open. This was no hinderence as we could easily hear her mom climbing the stairs clumsy from her day of drinking, even as we were distracted by long make out sessions.

I loved that making out with Gretchen felt two sided. She kissed as well as being kissed and she was as likely to push boundaries as I was, never leaving me feeling like the slimey guy always trying to get a little more. We were rubbing and grinding against each other. We fantasized about the day when we'd have our own place where we could makeout without parents or siblings to worry about.

Her mom was fond of me, almost too fond of me. She'd make insulting comments about her daughter and then she'd go on and on about how unique and talented I was. It was incredibly awkward. The more she drank the worse it got, and unfortunately she drank plenty. I liked the woman, she was bright and open minded, if only she'd drop the idea that her daughter had found the perfect guy and was doomed to blow it with him.

A friend of ours, Monique, had a Christmas party at her house. Monique's mom was awesome. She helped Monique put together a great spread, cookies, cakes, all kinds of chips and dips, everything elegently displayed. We all dressed the part. Gretchen wore a black velvet dress and she was absolutley lovely. Monique's mom said hello and chatted with us for awhile and then she went to her room and left us alone. Gretchen and I shared a few kisses in the dark family room away from the rest of the party. I was falling harder and harder.

Things went well with Gretchen for months. Maybe I didn't know what to do without drama. I started to lose interest, or to crave change. Who know what I was thinking. My emotions and my life were in constant flux. At any rate, I broke up with her. I regreted it, almost immediately. She was so cool, so smart, so pretty, what the hell was I thinking. I let myself be tortured through a weekend and then, after seeing her at school, I gave her a call Monday night. The phone was my most valuable tool when it came to winning, or winning back the affections of the farer sex. I had the gift of gab, and it worked.

Gretchen took me back easily, which I though was what I wanted but it started to bug me that Gretchen went along with me so easily all the time. She was okay with going further when we made out, she was okay with waiting. She rarely chose the movie we'd see or even questioned my choices. I felt like maybe her mom's uncomfortable fondness for me was affecting her. I broke up with her once more. This time I spent a week waiting to stop pining for her.

It didn't stop. I decided that I would remember how much I liked her durring the week we had apart. If I felt like breaking up with her again, I'd wait, and trust that it would past. I really liked this girl and I finally had it good, I didn't want to be the asshole boyfriend. I'd always hated the asshole boyfriends of the world.

Of course, when she took me back, again, it frustrated me. Her trying to please me was really pissing me off, but I stuck to my resolution and I let myself get over it.

I was working hard on getting my parent to let me move out. My friend Christian had just moved into a condo and welcomed me as a roommate. My folks swore they'd never agree to let me skip my Senior year of school and move out on my own but I was determined. Gretchen and I constructed elaborate fantasies about what we'd do when we had our own place; we'd cook dinner together, drink wine, sit outside under the stars, and fall asleep in each others arms. Not having to go our seperate ways every time things were going wonderfully sounded so nice.

The Cure's new album was on the way, and we walked to the record store together to pick up "Fascination Street" the advance twelve inch single that had been issued. We walked home holding hands and stopping to kiss every few minutes. When we finally reached Gretchen's house her parents were out. We put the record on, set it to repeat and made out in the dark on the stairs. It was wonderful.

After a big fight with my dad, ending with me putting a TV through the wall I was finally permitted to move in with Christian, right after I'd broken up with Gretchen yet again.

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