Connie

Illustrations by Marcus, Grumblebee.com
Connie lived with her sister Erin and her mom in the house directly across the street from ours. I didn't consider Connie as a potential girlfriend, perhaps because we had been friends for so long. When Connie's mom married Phil I was around her house a-lot more as Phil taught my little brother and I karate in his garage. We'd come early or stick around after to watch Mtv with Connie and Erin.

When Phil started selling weed and whatever else their house became a high traffic area. Phil was none so smart. He ran his little home business like a fast food drive thru and it was blatantly obvious to the neighbors, including my mom. I started to see a-lot less of Connie then. Connie's mom died while freebasing cocaine in their kitchen and Phil became their full time guardian.

Despite the bad cards she was being dealt Connie was sweet, did well in school and seemed pretty well balanced and even happy. I was hanging out at Jeremy's house and Connie was there hanging out with Jeremy's older sister Venus. Jeremy had recently had a break up and he was having a hard time with it. Matters were not helped by him playing Elton John's "Sad Songs" over and over again after taping it off the radio.

"It's true. Sad Songs means so much, too much. Every word of the song describes exactly how I'm feeling. I gotta write Elton John a letter."

Connie and Venus were playing some semblance of truth or dare and Venus ended up grabbing my crotch. Without thinking I grabbed back, finding myself with a delightful handful of breast. It was without a doubt the greatest day of my life. Venus stuck out her chest and stood there, inviting me to enjoy myself. She freaked me out. She was two years older than me, and pretty relaxed about sex, too relaxed. I thought she was trashy even as I enjoyed her wonderful breast. I let go after and awkward span of time and headed for home.

About a half block into my walk Connie caught up with me. "Keith, wait up."

"Hey Connie, what's up?" I was happy to have company.

"I'm heading home too. I figured we'd walk together."

Perhaps it was the breast squeeze that put my mind in the right state to finally notice how pretty Connie was. I looked at her walking next to me and she seemed so cool and easy going where I was uptight and neurotic. I decided I liked Connie very much. She must have been thinking similar thoughts, or sensing me looking at her.

"Hey Keith, I think Venus kind of likes you." Venus had made out and maybe more with my older brother Edward. He was only two years older than me but he was light years ahead of me in maturity and coolness. There was no way Venus liked me.

"Yeah? I think I like someone else." I replied, trying to be coy.

"Really? Who?"

"You."

We walked in silence for another half a block and then Connie put her hand in mine. When we reached my house we kept right on walking. We were around the corner, safely out of view of my mother should she be looking out the windows and we sat on the curb.

"So, do you want to be my girlfriend?" I asked.

"Okay."

"Cool." I sat next to her, smiling like a dope unsure of what to do next. "I guess I'd better go in."

"Yeah, me too." We stood and looked at each other.

"Well, um, I guess I'll see you later."

"Yeah."

We continued looking at each other. I stepped forward and Connie closed her eyes. She really was terrifically pretty. I looked at her as she waited for me to kiss her. She had long straight brown hair and she wore tom boy clothes, a graphic t-shirt and brown corduroy pants. I kissed her. It was a nice, simple kiss. Her lips were soft. She put her arms around me and I could've stood their all night. After the kiss we looked at each other again. We were both smiling. I gave her a hug and another kiss on the cheek. I wanted to thank her for the kiss. I wanted to tell her it was the greatest thing anyone had ever done for me. It was even better than grabbing Venus' breast.

I don't know if Connie made an effort to avoid me, if maybe Venus had told her to do so, but I didn't see too much more of her and then her family moved away. She was my first real kiss and I can't help but feel affectionate towards her to this day.

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