Amber

Christian, Bill and I were drinking with Amber who I'd known since fourth grade. Shortly after my sweaty arm pit visit with her and Kim in Norco, Amber moved up to Sacramento. We hung out frequently and though I found her attractive we were just friends. I was intimidated by her as she seemed eternelly more hip and worldly than I'd ever be. Asshole parents can give you that advantage.

Amber's apartment was tiny; one room with a stove and sink in the closet and a bathroom that barely fit the toilet and shower. Chris and Bill were determined that I lose my virginity. The decided Amber would be the one. When enough alcohol had flowed they stepped outside, saying they needed a smoke, and then hopped in Bill's car and split, ditching me with no ride home.

I was surprised to find that Amber seemed willing. She asked me if I'd rub her back. She lay on her stomach, lifted her shirt and pointed out the lotion. I started rubbing. She asked me to rub lower. I rubbed lower and she asked me to rub lower still, until I ended up sitting on her back, and going any lower would mean her pants would start to come down.

I was good and drunk, and Amber was looking good. I wanted to do it, but I was sure I'd regret it. I felt my mind split. The sensible long term thinking part of my brain knew that it was on the roaps and needed a lucky shot to win. That's when I grabbed the cowboy hat that sat on Amber's night stand. I put it on my head. I then put one hand in the air and hooped, hollared and hopped about like I was riding a bucking bronco. I couldn't say no, but I could make Amber say no for me, and of course she did, throwing me to the floor.

"Can I have a pillow?" I asked. A pillow hit my head at high speed.

I didn't sleep well. Amber had enough asshole men in her life, I didn't like being another one. The sun came up and I kissed her on the forehead and made my way to the light rail stop, about ten blocks up. As I walked I realized I was still drunk. I started to feel very good about still having my virginity. I could only lose it once, and I was enjoying dragging the experience out.

I sat upside down on my light rail seat. A little black girl in a pretty pink dress smiled at me as I sang violent Femmes songs feeling strangely good about life.

Previous
Next