See Emily Work

Here's a quick work story from my lovely sister in law Emily.

Life as Jenson’s Secretary

From the outside, being Jenson’s personal secretary probably looks fairly dull. But you only have to scratch at the surface to see that the shiny patina only thinly veils the dark web of deceit and dramatic problems within. No one knows about Jenson’s secret policeman and fireman boy toys, or her devastating drug problem, or her addiction to myspace. This is because I take my job very seriously and do it very well. She seems like such a nice woman, but she has the potty mouth of a sailor raised by a bloody trucker. She could make a crack whore blush.

Other than that, she’s pretty cool. She’s funny (especially while under the influence) and feeds me. My only complaint is that her admin appreciation day gifts leave much to be de$ired.

When I’m not fielding calls from the distraught and heartbroken fireman boy toy, I am stalking her policeman boy toy who is no longer returning her calls. And has filed a restraining order. Against both of us.

And then there’s the creepy old man that wrote her into his will. He sends her flowers weekly (and not from Relles, either, he’s so ghetto), and I have to pretend to be her and call and thank him and tell him all about what color my pedicure is this week, and what kind of shoes I’m wearing. Weird, huh?

Oh, and speaking of pedicures? Jenson goes bi-weekly. Next time she sends out one of those “I’ll be at the Sac PD today” emails be sure to check out her toes that day. They will be all nice and shiny like they just got painted…..

Thanks Em. Now the rest of you, send in them work stories! Please.

Read indy comic hot shot Jeffrey Brown's story HERE
My Cousin's brutal tale of being a beat cop in NYC is HERE
Swimming with dolphins in Gay Hawaii is HERE.
Being Will Ferrell is HERE.

And of course all of my own work tales are HERE!
and my home page is HERE.