HELP! I'm a MIME!

Well heck, for $55 an hour wouldn't you be?

I'm being hired as a mime by the same folks who paid me to be Will Ferrell. I've also been The 40 Year Old Virgin for them. The gig is this saturday.

The good thing is the next time someone asks me how much my diginity is worth I'll have an answer. It's worth $55 an hour.

I don't know a-lot about the gig, just that it's a promotion for some line of make up. Too bad I can't speak, I heard a great make-up joke:

Q: Why do women wear make-up and perfume?
A: Because they're ugly and they stink.

When women tell the joke it comes across kind of feminist capping on the make-up and perfume industries.
And when guys tell it, like the old trucker who told it to me, well then it's pretty piggy.
When a mime tells it, it is of course utter blasphemy.

Confession: I wanted very badly to be a mime when I was a young un. I spent a-lot of time practicing pantomime, alteranting with my other love, ventriloquism. And yes, of course I discovered Magic within a few year too. My god what a geek I was. (WAS?) Yes, WAS! Screw you parenthetical.

Truthfully though, my miming did continue. Click Here to read about my adventures panhandling as a mime.

I'm actually only too happy to do this gig. I'm a HUGE fan of Harpo Marx, Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, and pantomime was certainly a big part of their shtick. I think I'm going to have a great time. And I'm going to get paid outrageously for it. Nice!

When I find out where the gig is I'll post it here. So check back if you want an opportunity to make fun of a mime.

Read indy comic hot shot Jeffrey Brown's story HERE
My Cousin's brutal tale of being a beat cop in NYC is HERE
Swimming with dolphins in Gay Hawaii is HERE.
Being Will Ferrell is HERE.

And of course all of my own work tales are HERE!
and my home page is HERE.