Being Will Ferrell

Just when I thought I was out of jobs to write about I get another weird gig. I have some more guest work stories coming up. Send me yours and please check out my other blogs by visiting the home blog, www.rockass.net. Thanks, Keith Lowell Jensen

My pal Amber Kloss forwarded me the email from Action Promotions. They were looking for someone who looked like Will Ferrell and who could be "high energy." I am told at least once a day that I look like Will Ferrell. I don't see it, but, for $30 an hour, sure, call me Will Ferrell.

I sent in my response including a picture of me dressed as a banana. I told them I am so high energy, my nick-name is Ritalin (thanks Spike).

Within in an hour I got a call, I was their Will Ferrell. They mailed me the track suit, like the one from Kicking and Screaming and a bunch of pamphlet's and Key Chains promoting the movie and promoting Video On Demand. I would be acting like a dork at the local cable TV giants call center, trying to get the operators there excited about selling some cable with the Video on Demand feature, and encouraging them to mention the movie when they pitched the Video on Demand.

My buddy Nic was my assistant. He picked me up, and we had a quick conference call, meaning I used the little speaker on my cell phone so we could both talk to the promotions folks. Jessica was overseeing the project and she was really nice. She asked me if I'd mind getting a whistle, I told her I was on it, and I bragged that I'd also get some glasses like Will's in the movie and that I had powder blue converse.

Nick and I went to target and then to WalMart, sorry, I don' t like givin' 'em money but time was of the essence, to get the whistle, a head band and a pump for the deflated Kicking and Screaming soccer ball they'd included with my costume.

I also got a head band, figuring it would hide my un-Ferrell-esque hair do. I was in character as soon as I put on the outfit. I kept asking folks at Wal-Mart if I looked good, or more telling them that I did. "Hey, I look good don't I?" Oddly nobody seemed to think I looked all that good.

I collected job applications from a bunch of corporate hell places, WalMart, and some faceless Tex-Mex place. I forgot to get one from Hooters. I want to get crappy jobs so I can write about them here.

We got to the call center, and off we went. We goofed around with folks, kicked the soccer ball around the office, and we got folks to play soccer in the aisles, watching the ball bounce off of expensive flat screen monitors.

I noticed folks watching movies on portable DVD players as they waited for a call to be transferred to their stations, hitting pause or even just switching to subtitles when they got an incoming call. Pretty funny.

I saw a woman holding up a help sign and it was explained to me that she had an upset customer or a customer who wanted more than she was authorized to give them. I've often been that customer and I was amazed at how lackadaisical she was about being seen. I decided to help here and I grabbed the sign and stood on her desk yelling "Hey, we need some help here! Can we get some help here!" The help came quick and I shook some hands, telling they that they were welcome, despite their lack of thanking me.

Nic was a big help, making sure the actual work got done as I mostly acted a fool. We'd see a meeting and barge right in. I tried to get a bunch of execs to play soccer on their table. They wouldn't do it. We did get one supervisor to do push-ups.

Getting paid to act like a dork is perfect for me. That's one area where I need no training. The promotions agency seemed real happy and hopefully I get some more gigs like this.

Read indy comic hot shot Jeffrey Brown's story HERE
My Cousin's brutal tale of being a beat cop in NYC is HERE
Swimming with dolphins in Gay Hawaii is HERE.
Being Will Ferrell is HERE.

And of course all of my own work tales are HERE!
and my home page is HERE.