Two From The RC Forum

I'm a regular on the forums at www.RetroCrush.com and I asked for work stories there. Here are a couple in their unedited, raw, it's Saturday morning and I'm too lazy to do any work form. Enjoy.

First, from "ChickiePie" who has a cool Danger Mouse avatar, but hasn't given me a site to link to:

I was a high school teacher~ some of these didn't happen to me but to friends of mine.

a kid was put in the back of the room for being disruptive~ he promptly stuck a paper clip into an electrical socket, throwing him across the room, knocking him out, and shorting out half the school.

another kid handcuffed himself to the pencil sharpener when his p.o. came to take him away.

a class had a couple of kids who could fart on command. My friend shut all the windows, screamed "then you can sit in your own stench! I don't care!" and walked out.

at the end of the year a student presented his teacher with a chart documenting what color shoes she wore every day for the whole year. It read like this: brown brown black RED!!! black brown dark blue etc.

After back to school night teachers go out and get loaded. The whole faculty is hung over the next morning. A history teacher I know showed a film strip the next day that was in two parts. He was still so drunk he didn't realize that he was playing part one of the strip with the tape for part two. None of his kids noticed, either.

My husband taught a stripper who offered him $500 for an A. She also told him that she loved him and that "she didn't just want to have sex with him, she wanted to KISS him, too."

Boy, those are just off the top of my head.


I Hope Chickiepie sends us some more good stuff. And now here's some goodness from Anthony Vera who doesn't like paragraph breaks.

Further Adventures From Hotel Nowhere
Current mood: Amused and Awake

Well, here I am once more, writing for the sake of it. Here is some advice to take with you in the future, when in charge of pizza night at a place for the "disfuctional", make sure you let people know that you are in charge of their meds... case in point: A man wanted me to hold him a piece. I told him if he didn't get any now, we may run out. He repeated for me to hold him a piece, and I again I told him to get it now, though he ran off purposely ignoring me. So of course everyone wanted pizza, and tried to get seconds before everyone got a piece. "I didn't eat anything all day." was a common remark, which I was able to retort with "You had Subway earlier dude!" Which everyone got a voucher for Subway, which is nice of Subway to do by the way. After a few minutes this lady wanted a second slice. I told her to wait until more people came down. She said that she was really hungry. Not wanting to deal with being "Pizza Monitor, I told her to ask the staff in charge, to make sure it was okay. It was, so I gave the last three or so pieces to whoever was around. So, after the pizza ran out, not more than a minute later, the older "gentleman" came down and asked me for the slice of pizza I was to hold for him. I told him. "Sorry guy, all out of pizza." He then berated me about not putting a slice aside from him. I then mentioned that I had repeated a couple of times to get it now. He said that he didn't hear me. At this point I just shrugged and reminded him that next time he get it when it's available so this wouldn't be a problem. He want and sulked in the corner for awhile. The woman who asked me for the second slice approched him and told him that it was "fucked up" that I wouldn't hold a piece for him. That's when I said, "But you wanted two pieces."

Thanks to Anthony and Chickiepie.

Read indy comic hot shot Jeffrey Brown's story HERE.

Or Check out Becca Costello's madcap adventure with dolphins in Gay Hawaii HERE.

And of course all of my own work tales are HERE!